PICTURE PERFECT..........

Oh my!!! Its been forever since I made a post but its just been soooooooo freaking hard!!! I can honestly say that I've never missed anyone so much in my entire 30 years of living!!! As for the title "Picture Perfect" well well well, my daughter is a picture freak lol to say the least. She ALWAYS had my phone or her dads phone, or the IPad taking pics of her self, making mini movies of herself I mean it was never ending with this girl. I have to laugh now because I would always say Mady leave momma's phone alone but now IDK what I would do with out those precious moments. She is just a doll baby, and her little voice is so raspy, I know without a doubt she was going to be a singer/actor/performer of some kind.  Makes me smile even harder because I know she is putting on show for Jesus, thats just what she does....my baby is a STAR!!!

Its so funny too becuase I can remember soooooo many times when my husband is in the chair, I am on the couch the boys on the floor and Madysen is putting on a show for us lol thats just what she did. My house is not the same and NEVER will be because she is not bouncing through there. Her brothers and dad miss her so much I can see it in my husbands face he doesnt like to talk about it that much but he misses his baby girl....everyone does. She has been tap dancing on our hearts these last two weeks, leave it to Mady lol. When we were preparing everything for the funeral my sisiter-n-law said to me: "I cant believe how many pictures you have of her, that's crazy I dont know what I would do if something happen to my daughter because we just dont take a lot of pics of her like that."
Its so funny how something as small as taking a zillion pics of your children, and them growing up and taking a zillion pics of themselves can turn into the BEST thing in your life. I truly don't know what I would do if I didnt have all the 'mini movies' of my baby girl or the zillion pics of  her.

****God works things out for his people I tell you that much he really does, he has brought me from numb,to angry, and now I have joy and am greatful. I was numb when it happened I felt like I was walking through a fog, still do at times but its better now. The anger was more of a WWWWHHHYYYY??? Why in the world would you take my baby GOD?? Am I not a great mommy??!! She was my ONLY daughter where is the mercy??!!! Then I think of how SELFISH I was being, feeling that way about my GOD!! The one who gave his ONLY child for me, you know me, the sinner...yep thats me the bad person that good things have happened to.*******

~So now I feel like ok Cheresa your daughter is gone you WILL see her agian but you have got to get yourself on track and pray/focus. She is waiting for her momma you know that, she is cheering you on praying that your name will be in the "Book of Life",and if you dont get your crap together she will be the first one to say "sorry you didnt make it momma but I'm good" lol.~

Ok, I have rambled on and on and on goodness. The main point is I miss my girl so freaking much, but I will not let anyone or anything keep me from seeing her face again!!!! My eyes are set on HEAVEN!!!!