Saturday, December 13, 2014
so I really don’t know where to begin!!! Its been 3 years today since my whole life was changed literally in an instant. Its so crazy how life works, this time 3 years ago I was sleeping in my bed because I had been at work all night prior. I remember Mady was so excited to go to school. She had on a skirt black stockings her black boots that she LOOOVVVEEDD hair in 2 afro puffs our norm lol, and a purple vest like shirt. Why do I remember that so well???? Crazy huh?? Its like I can see her little face and hear her voice. I miss her so much. I just cant even function some days. It just doesn’t feel real. I think I get so upset because Im like why, why my daughter?? Why not someone elses?? Sad but true.
God has a plan for my life. I think the fact that I am able to get out of bed and function 95% of the time says a lot, and I hope that I can help others who are hurting. I would have to say the best thing for me has been to journal. I have like 4 journals. I know sad, but true. I write down how I am feeling and things that trigger my tears. Like I was in CPR renewl the other day and almost lost it. I was thinking Cheresa get it together your in CPR class for goodness sake!!
The boys are not even the same boys. She would love them even more now. Houston is so fun, Joey is so smart and Michael well he still does not want to be bothered or touched lol but knowing Madysen she would do it anyway.